Hey guys its been a very long time coming, but my book is out tomorrow. You can preorder it here now:
I am leaving it at 99 cents for the opening price, its a very long scifi story so check it out and leave any comments if you actually pick it up!
Hey guys its been a very long time coming, but my book is out tomorrow. You can preorder it here now:
I am leaving it at 99 cents for the opening price, its a very long scifi story so check it out and leave any comments if you actually pick it up!
Keep a ping going so we can find the range of the ICS here – he sent to her, but when she didn’t respond he felt alone again. He backed up a bit as small bits of the plant fell out of the sky from her ascent, turning his own cloaking field back on. He picked one of the branches up, from where it had broken off was a liquid leaking out from the middle. Though the branch was colored purple, he thought the similarity to obsidian was strong. Was this really a plant, or maybe a symbiotic amalgamation of plant and geologic processes? They looked a lot like Daijin Star plants, if they had plants. Hmm…did they have plants?
‘Thinking too much…’
He shook his head and pulled the Gauss-Limiter up to his shoulder and looked around at the silent forest around him. Really the forest was rather beautiful with its soft reflections of the light far above. There appeared to only be two major life forms: the huge trees and the sharp ‘grass’ underneath.
The terrain wasn’t that hard to cross; compared to some the going would have been fairly fast. But the problem was the extreme diligence required of being aware where every hand and every foot was going to ensure no slipping into a razor tree happened. Strengthening just the feet or hands as Philira suggested was a good way to save suit material, but at the risk of injury in an accident.
The visibility was fairly good. Sight lines were about average, blocked only by the big pyramidal trunks or the eventual even dispersion of the trees filling in every sight line.
“Haaaauuuuuuu!” a strange call from somewhere up in the air came, making Raist realize how close to dusk it was now becoming. The call also indicated there was something here other than the two plants types. In the setting sun the purple color of the plants was even more obvious, and that made him remember the fact that from space the landscape looked green. But from here, there was definitely nothing green around.
The branches falling off the tree then took on a different touch from their completely purple obsidian nature beforehand. They were the crystal branches, but with leaves on them. Green leaves.
“What?” He picked up one from the pile forming and sure enough the leaves looked similar enough to Terrestrial leaves, barring the strange branch. Something else caught his eye even more though, and it was that this pile was softly moving. He backed up out of caution and slowly watched it vibrate.
‘This grass is alive…’ He looked down at his boots, grateful the advanced alloy was protecting him from this alien world. He dropped the leafed branch to the grass, in which the razor grass slowly swayed back and forth. It cleaved the glass-like branch apart and leaving a strange liquid inside the crystal branch similar to sap that was dripping out, as well as the valuable, soft leaves. Raist knelt down to see that between the blades of grass was a small pool of liquid, which the remnants of the sliced branch fell into and were systematically dissolved in what appeared to be an acid.
This was a hostile planet, and with each step he took he could imagine the alien grass trying to cleave bits of his boot off to get to his own ‘juices’ inside. It disgusted him imagining the grass as millions of worms swaying back and forth to eat him. He wanted to shoot them for a moment if it would have at all mattered.
“Raist?” a soft female voice called to him.
“Yeah.” She jumped out of the tree and turned off her cloak. Her cold eyes and bright hair still affected Raist every time; Scouts were a very enigmatic class of soldier. Given his past with Laiun, the previous Scout he had fallen for, added to the forced distance in his heart he had to maintain with Philira.
“Four things,” she started. “One, there appears to be creatures that live here and only come out at night, and they put this plant life to shame in terms of danger. Two, that way,” she pointed, “is the way towards our goal. Three, there are robot sentries in the air, possibly of Daijin Star origin, but heavily armed. Lastly, there is at least one person alive, and they are that way.”
“Well, then we are going that way,” pointing towards the unknown team member.
“Of course, Leader.”
“Raist is fine, don’t talk differently just because we are on a mission now.”
“Of course, Raist.” He liked the way she said his name.
This is a new story I am serializing right now, it is about a group of super elite soldiers sent in to recover ‘AKRA’ from a very hostile planet. The team is getting ready right now.
“I told you guys everything that was said to me,” Raist answered. “This has the feel of something way beyond what we normally take on. Most of the time things turn out to only have minor consequences, but just the way the courier was talking, and the price it paid for equipment had the feeling that this was very serious.” Raist opened his eyes and looked right at Ziko then Agrest, hoping to calm his old friend’s worries. He felt kind of bad leaving out some of the things, like that he was sure the courier was actually a girl, maybe a Scout given the hair color.
“What the hell is an AKRA anyway?” Ziko stood up, turning in synch with the computerized commands of the machine to change its neutralization pattern.
“Has to be either a robot or comp unit,” Leio guessed as she pulled her arms down and ran her hands through her bright orange hair, shaking it gracefully as it waved down her shoulders. “‘Data recovery?’ Come on, what else could it be?”
“I’m with you, but those were my words I had said to it,” Raist making sure that distinction was there. “It was never explicitly stated other than when it said ‘data processing unit’. The only thing we know for sure is that it has a recovery chip implanted in its system that we will be able to track it down with.” He pointed over to where his clothes were, and a handheld scanner configured to the tracking chip slowly pulsed, showing that AKRA lay down on the hostile planet below.
Ziko’s question repeated itself in Raist’s mind: what was AKRA, and why was this feeling only getting worse?
“I recommend Level-2 survival supplies,” Raist spoke to the four silver-suited figures in front of him. They were near deployment, grabbing the last of their gear in the armory before their descent. The suits they had equipped were capable of a high tech camouflage as well as defensive in terms of ballistic attack. Further, they carried extra medical nanites to synch with each soldier to provide advanced healing and drugs during combat.
“Studying the terrain, I would recommend at least three,” Agrest suggested.
“Go with at least one extra med pack as well,” Leio added.
Raist nodded, deferring to their specialties and around them everyone made necessary changes.
Once their suits were activated, the near-invisibility they provided would blend them in completely to their environment. Each of them tested their nano-camouflage in turn, rendering each of their various differences in appearance such as the boldness of the two women’s natural hair colors, Agrest’s taller frame, and Ziko’s muscular body all unobservable. There was only a vague shimmer of light where they were standing.
The technology involved a complex set of data transmission of accurately replicating the light pattern of objects behind the person. By projecting them on the multi-layer crystalline suit in the front, it created something as near invisibility as was visually possible. It was a perfect invisibility as it used what was behind to person to relay to the front, making it applicable in any environment or any angle
“Expecting this mission will be a siege, or an extraction?” Agrest asked, but he had already loaded many supplies; he knew how often the role of the Sniper meant he would be in hostile territory far longer than anyone expected.
If anyone was watching the room, they would be disturbed by the supplies and weapons floating in air like ghosts before they disappeared as they were pocketed or filed away in a cloaked backpack.
“We are running it as an extraction, but the terrain is extremely hostile, as I hope you guys had studied. I am not over estimating this at all.” Raist’s second statement was unnecessary to his crew. They all knew him well: he was not the type to exaggerate danger, at least before they went into it. That fact actually put a bit of caution into their minds.
“The combat drones we have sent have been shot down at about halfway to planet-side,” Leio said, decloaking as she pulled up a holo of their target and the visualization of the effective kill zone around it. Her tight combat suit left her still looking very attractive, perhaps more so with the way it hung tight to her legs and butt. “Their air defenses are extremely solid, and even our low flying drones were killed when they approached horizontally.”
“From what I have seen, the forest looks extremely dense,” said Philira. The voice came from a barely-visible ghost holding a Plaz-Shot Scattergun. Only her tone was any clue as to whom had said the statement. “I see why you chose this path. Even if they knew we were in there, there would be no way to locate us for termination.” ‘Termination’…only a Scout would so distantly comment on their likely death that way.
Hey so I started slipdrift, but instead it is going to be Project: ARKA and this is due to some things with amazon and when the free period ends. Anyway, all of them are part of the VayneLine Chronicles, here is project akra!
Ironically, the Emotion-Field concept as an aspect to reality proved so revolutionary that the first groups to find evidence of its existence fought and killed for its secrets, deeply contrary to the discovery’s eventual implications. It was the first indication of higher dimensional aspects that influenced our reality, as well as our own ability to change them.
– Terran Intradex Ver. 4 Excerpt on ‘Emotion Field’
See Also: Star Priestess, Classed Soldier, Project: AKRA [Declassified]
“I have reason to believe you are the best…feel like putting that reputation to the test, soldier?” The hooded figure had a light cloaking field over it that made it seemed almost like an illusion to the soldier it was speaking to.
A small smirk crossed the face of the soldier as he brushed two fingers through his short hair. “Naturally.”
The hooded figure laughed, but its tone was masked by a voice-modder, rendering its tone completely neutral so it could not be identified in any form. “I know you have taken hard missions before, but I do not expect the survival rate to be particularly high on this. There were only three groups that had both the clearance and the battle experience your group possesses. I hate sending such a valued asset like your group on a mission like this, but it is one of particular import to the Star Priestesses.”
‘To the Star Priestesses’ meant for all intents ‘to the Aelisha’.
Though the black-haired man was arrogant, he was not stupid, and likewise answered carefully. “Interesting; I assume this is your estimation of the danger. If I may ask, is that an academic estimate, or a once-soldier’s estimate?” A very small portion of Star Priestesses were soldiers, but a large percentage of Aelisha in secret operations like this were warriors.
“The latter,” the figure said in an easy tone that belied its long combat experience. “A rather well-connected criminal syndicate has stolen a very valuable collection of data. Its name is AKRA, an information processing and application unit. It holds an understanding of the universe we are just barely starting to comprehend.”
“And it’s our job to recover the data,” the man offered. It was probably an Aelisha he was dealing with most likely some high-rank diplomat or something similar. For the briefest moment he mused about tackling the creature and ripping its cloak off to see whom it was.
“ ‘Naturally’,” the cloaked figure mimicked.
The black-haired soldier laughed at the imitation, but in his mind he could tell there was something deeply wrong with this mission his squad was going to undertake. He always believed in his combat instincts, but this was different. Something was calling to him beyond just his instincts, but he had no idea what it was saying.
Considering the credits his group was offered, some mysterious ‘clearances’ for advanced weaponry they recently had been given, and the entirely personal reason that he felt something calling on this job, he knew he would do it. The soldier named Raist, told the figure they would take the job. As soon as he had said so, the figure had turned and started walking out, shimmering like a ghost that was barely visible. “Wait, one question though. Why us?”
“You were asked for specifically.”
That was interesting. He didn’t know too many people that knew him and were still alive. “By whom?”
“You are not privy to that information.”
“Ha, I am used to that,” he said to the figure that had departed.
The figure was far enough away it was completely invisible, but before it had completely left the room, its voice said to Raist, “But know an old friend sends their… regards.”
Counting the friends he had that weren’t in his squad and were still alive took about four fingers. He stood there for a moment, digesting the conversation that had just occurred. He spun his pistol lazily out of habit, more concerned with his thoughts. It crashed to the ground, and he crouched down quickly to grab it. He saw something like a small string or thread against the background blackness of his pistol and grabbed it. The single medium-length strand of hair was a bright pink.
‘That was a Solarian girl, maybe a Star Priestess or a Classed like me…I wonder who she was? Something felt weird about her.’ All Star Priestesses and really anyone this deep in secrecy were a little weird though. He shook his head, trying to stop thinking about things. ‘Too many thoughts and feelings; just focus.’
Hey guys just a quick update today. I have got a physical copy of my VayneLine Chronicles book that has 8 stories in it including Proud Infinity. I got some work to do to make sure everything is ready, but within the next couple of weeks I will have my first actual physical book out!
Trego is in jail wondering if everything was just a dream.
“You would forsake me so fast?” It was her voice. I wondered how long before I would start hallucinating about her.
“Fuck you, go away,” I said to the darkness. Damn, I hated just being used. I kind of wanted to shoot her if the circumstances were such that way again.
Her…the cause of everything. Guess it was not too long. It was in the shadows of despair within my mind and the actual darkness in this cell that I definitely started to hate her. I felt used beyond redemption. White blood celled.
The bag was pulled off of my head, and her bright blue eyes were almost touching mine. She smiled was wide as she brought her face back. “Hi Tre! My, what have they done to you?”
“Unfortunately…” my voice came haggard. I had not spoken in a long time, and being deprived of water left my throat dry. “My race has… our less than… glorious… moments towards each other. Are you… real? Or just here to…to torment me before I die?”
I honestly expected her to disappear, or maybe appear as the guy who was probably going to torture me. But she stepped forward, putting her hands on my arms, and something happened as I was falling towards her. I landed in her chest as she held me gently. My arms hung limply at my side and I definitely could not feel them.
“Proud…you are real…” I mumbled, feeling her actually hugging me and feeling overwhelmed by that fact as I whimpered softly.
“Of course. Why would I not be? I had promised I would protect you, did I not?”
“Did…you? Can’t… remember. I can’t move…hunger…pain. My arms…”
“I know. I know.” She held me there, and something warm was flowing from her into me. I felt a strange awareness come over me, an awareness I once possessed slowly come back to me.
“Healing,” I stated and she nodded. I could at least walk, even if I felt weak and out of it. “But how can we get out of here? I thought you cannot influence reality that much?”
“I have gotten stronger. I am still limited, but enough to get you out of here. I had to wait until everyone in your near reality counted on you dying. To that reality it makes no difference if you actually die, or are simply gone. The jail guard was killed in an accident today, he was the only one who knew you weren’t actually dead yet.”
Her eyes widened a bit at the simple truth of my statement. “Indeed. It is time we go.”
“Uh, are we going to teleport or something? I don’t think we can just walk out.”
She disappeared, and I certainly did not make the trip with her. “Uh, Proud?”
The door to my cell opened, and she was the one that had done it. “Come on.”
“And if we are caught?”
“I will protect you. It will not happen though. Stay close.” She offered her hand and I reached for it, but my hand did not move. She bent down, grabbing it, and I noticed my emaciated arm that she had taken. I had been in this delusional state in this dark cell for longer than I likely knew.
At the very end of the hallway, I tried tugging her back as I saw the shadow of a guard coming. She shook her head and sure enough the form on the wall had turned around and started walking away without ever turning the corner. We walked through some sort of facility, and it was uncanny that at every turn someone would be walking through the opposite door, or turned engaged in something. We continued in the strange ballad of perfect timing until we came out to a ship pad.
Here we go guys, getting near the end, I hope you are ready for some pretty big plot twists!
In a moment I realized it partly might have been a distraction. From two sides we were attacked. Mitreah was engaged with one group on the other side of the room.
“Tre!” Proud yelled my name. I glanced to my left seeing her form between me and a squad that had come into the door. The next instant her form was bending over as the rounds from their rifles were entering her body. Her body moved a bit, dancing slowly from their energy hitting her. I had once found out she truly could take rounds in our physical dimension if she ‘lowered’ herself enough to the base level, but was bound by certain rules regarding the consequence.
“Proud!” I yelled to her slumping form as I lifted my unlimited Liner pistol and unloaded round after electro-magnetically propelled round into the group, leaving them holed and dead. I had taken out four skilled men with a commercially available pistol. That is how far I had come.
“Proud!” I yelled again, running to her.
She was kneeling, and turned her head towards me, tears in her eyes. “It hurts. What a terrible sensation! In future resets do not stand there so I will not have to feel this.” She managed a grim smile and went back to looking downwards. From her body there was not blood leaking out, but rather a light blue energy that was barely visible from her bullet holes before disappearing in the air. Her eyes were closed, and despite how bad her body was massacred, I would almost swear the wounds were disappearing, but why were her eyes closed!?
“Proud!” I yelled again, and then my eyes went wide as a fire ripped through my shoulder. The momentum from the bullet entered my shoulder and threw me to the ground, stumbling forward over Proud. I hit the ground, and panic from the pain threatened to completely take over my mind. Only the simple thought of noticing Proud trying to get back up kept me sane.
I lifted my head to see a heavily armed squad from the other door that was firing at Mitreah. A huge round entered her body, exploding out from her backside along with a grim mix of organic tissue and metallic substrates. She staggered for a moment and continued onwards into the fire. Another round hit her in her other arm, a piece of it flying off from the energy. I could visibly see how much momentum there was pushing against her in bullets as she staggered forward.
She stabbed the first one though the chest as another round from the man next to him ripped through her body. I saw her pause for a moment, gathering strength perhaps for her slash out of that body into the next one. It cut the next man in half while the final man backed up professionally, firing coldly at the target in front of him.
“Mitreah!” I yelled, coughing from the pain. I thought she was going to go down right there with her slumping form. She was slowly going down, then I saw a poise take over her body as she launched at her final target, stabbing her arm into him, pulling downwards as the two of them fell into each other, dead or dying.
Another person came from the other door. I used much of my focus I had gained with Mitreah while in extreme pain to line my pistol up and shoot the two of them dead before they could do anything to our wounded party.
‘No…It doesn’t end like this.’ I tried standing up, and when it failed I contented myself with crawling over to the railing. Below me was a spherical core of blue and white energy that hung suspended between two huge rotating metal braces, a white light softly radiating outwards. Though the light was white, I knew its true evil nature. I had been its victim enough times.
I activated the bomb, and lay there as a thought hit me. Should I just abort and try again? But…a deep fear came to the surface that maybe indeed this was ‘real’, that I had no second chance, and that all my lives were really just an illusion; that thought seemed easier to dismiss, but the idea that something critical had changed and I would not reset seemed likely. At the very least what if something had changed by me being so far in here? I could not take the chance. The sacrifices to get here been too great to risk it ending in failure.
I pressed on both out of a fear that maybe this really was my only life, and another feeling of if I really had lived a million lives that I just wanted this to end. I rolled to my side, grasping the bomb with the opposite, non-shot hand, and laughing once as I pitched it off the edge to the core a few stories under me. So this is how it ends…
I turned back around, maybe ready to die when I saw those three scientists still there. “Like I’m letting you out of here. We are all dying here.” I lifted my pistol and shot the three of them who tried to run, before I felt fire enter my stomach from a different angle and I blacked out.
“Uhh…pain…” I woke up half expecting the softness of my pillow I had seen so many times. But this time I was already standing, my body was trying to fall down held up by what seemed to be chains on my wrists.
“So the terrorist is finally awake, huh?” There was a voice in front of me. Something painful hit me in the stomach, and I coughed hard as my head swung back and forth. I felt some saliva leaking out of my mouth, but I could barely bring myself to swallow it. What was going on?
“Why did you do it, Trego? Why’d you sell out your whole race?” the voice asked. I couldn’t see anything. Was I blind? Fear flooded me at the thought of never seeing again. “Is ‘Trego’ even your real name? Who are you an agent for!?”
No strikes to my body from the voice, and no further prompts for a while let me think about what was just said. Something critical had changed in my reality. I definitely was not where I usually was when I ‘died’ or the cycle ended. Was the loop I was in over? The voice said selling out my race and being an agent. I remember once a long time ago I had indeed thought that maybe I was part of an experiment to see how long I would go before I’d break. Was this what it was about?
I thought not though, because I had lasted impossibly long. I had resorted to killing myself before going through with this; what more would a military or whatever want with me? How could I have passed the test any more so when I resisted for so long?
“What race?” I asked the darkness. Maybe I was not even Solarian, just a butterfly dreaming he was…
Damn, was I really an agent? No way…but why did I decide to blow up a reactor?
Hey guys Proud Infinity is going to be free on amazon tomorrow in ebook format so be sure to pick it up, and if you do, please rate it, rating help huge for new authors! I will continue the story here though. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MTB19WD
“Show some faith,” Mitreah said as she stepped up, stabbing her blade hand into the door. I saw the muscles in her arms flex hard as a piece of steel came pulling out of the door with her appendage vaguely like a mutated hand. “Try it now,” she said with a smile.
At about that time a siren started wailing. “Attention all personnel, we are under attack. The agent is located at Block Six. Exercise extreme caution. Repeat, hostile agent located at Block Six. All combat personnel deploy immediately.”
Oh man, I forgot they have a security force. That’s how I got killed so fast a long time ago and it made me stop trying.
“Hope you are close to the target,” Proud said as I pushed the door and it slid open on an emergency track.
The door opened, and in front of us was a voluminous room with a long blue mechanical tube stretched far beneath the small walkway we were on. We were running on the thin walkway when a shot from below us exploded above my head on the roof.
“Damn!” I dropped into a tightly compacted crouch as we crept forward. “Is this it!? Is this what we need to destroy? Do I just drop the bomb here?”
Though I suppose neither of them knew the answer.
“There they are!” Across the walkway a squad of three people appeared in the opening doorway, kneeling to take firing positions. Rifles. They were going to hit me way before I lucked a pistol round downrange to hit them.
Behind me I heard more noise. With a skill I had developed over a long time I turned and expertly fired. Three rounds tore into one guy’s chest, and the next two were into the other’s head. Taking the two of them out required little thought or effort.
Turning back to the farther squad, I realized Mitreah was already halfway to them. The loud explosions of their guns reached me long after I saw a few sparks of light fly off her body, the rounds hitting metallic substrates. She stabbed her blade-arm straight through one of them, twisting and slashing the second one in half before stabbing her way through the final one and was already running back towards us before I could even realize we had to keep moving.
“Hey, are you okay?” I nodded to the holes in her chest and arms that were leaking a dark blood. It had not hit her deeper substrates yet.
“I can take way more before I am compromised.”
At this point I had never made it this far, so no longer ‘knew’ what to do. All I had was my skills, which were substantial. I saw movement below us and with a single shot killed the guy sighting us with his rifle. My skills were far past what it took to be an expert marksman.
We hurried along the walkway, an occasional shot from below us hitting the walkway or the ceiling. The walkway was a ‘T’ shape and we took the left instead of the straight path where the dead guards lay. Below us the huge machines hummed ominously; the bright blue energy from the glass cylinder did not look very good at all.
The walkway ended at a door Mitreah front kicked off its rolling ridge, quite an impressive feat. Inside were three scientists and a computer mainframe. We entered quickly and soon the three of them were holding their hands up, begging to not be killed.
“Where is the center of the particle creator?!” I yelled to them. One of them pointed behind him where beyond the computer was a railing overlooking something radiating light. I was walking towards it, unhooking my satchel, programming the time charge on the bomb.
“Don’t do it! Do you know how much research has been put into this?” someone behind me cried.
I hope you guys are enjoying the story!
The more loops I endured, the easy it was to accept it was happening. What I meant by that is that I would not be crippled by existential terror of the situation, or of the acts I had taken.
There was a degree of random-ness of what exactly was remembered and why. To me it was a bit akin to learning a new language by reading a complex book. It often meant nothing to me but I would start to see patterns. Many times the patterns were wrong, but again with enough failures these too would be refined. Consciously it was tougher to explain than on a subconscious or intuitive level where I’d remember things on a ‘déjà vu’ type experience.
Had I always known the android girl, Mitreah, at the spaceport was the highest level combat android available? Or how about that the android girl’s override phrase was actually three words long? And it wasn’t just words: a big key was I had to say her name before the words. A lot of these key facts were slowly extracted by practically begging, ‘How could I prove to you that I know you?’ And so slowly would she tell me, ‘Well if you can tell me X about myself,’ to which I’d spend cycles and cycles trying to figure out one little fact just so I could further advance the true search of finding her code word.
Every time, it would be the same with slightly more info. I would tell her of battles she had fought in, what her favorite food was, where she lived, what number she was thinking of. Silly things like that was what it took to get more vital info out of her, all for the eventual end of unlocking her control code.
Damn androids, not easy to deal with in a time loop; so much harder than Solarians, ironically. This was a large reason why I bothered, it was part of a challenge. I could figure out people a few cycles, but her programming was resistant which was so problematic.
How funny that the first cycle I felt embarrassed just standing there shouting things to her, but how fast my embarrassment died to grim necessity.
That took forever just to get to three words, except once I after busting out about two thousands words, I think I was around, ‘Mitreah: nanite uhh…Mitreah: nanites’, to her in the empty port she laughed and said it was three words long. Considering I had not told her any of her secrets during that reset, I was surprised she volunteered the information. Maybe in some little way was something of hers becoming implanted into the Emotion Field?
I asked Proud about it, and she could not answer like usual but said things work in ways I would not understand. It was quite curious regardless, that this perfect programming may actually be affected by the Emotion Field. It made me think that part of Mitreah’s body, the Solarian part, had an element of some type of ‘soul’ that so many would refuse to believe.
‘Mitreah: Farewell fallen sword’. I found out eventually through thousands of cycles of dedicated attempts. I think I skipped straight from ‘farewell fallen swift’ straight to ‘sword’ on a gut feeling. Living in this cycle over and over, it was amazing to find out just how powerful intuition was. Because I literally could try every path, the path my intuition would pull me on, and compare it to just about every other one.
I have no idea what ‘intuition’ is anymore, but it went far beyond anything simple as some might think. This was one of the biggest examples. Such a random thing as words, but it had saved me so much time. I truly believed intuition was likely low levels of Chrono Senses manifesting.
Oh, I of course realized I did not possess any sort of Chrono Sense in a large scale like I thought once upon a long time ago. The only reason I ‘knew’ what was coming is because I had died thousands of times to it.
The killing sprees honed my abilities. I learned to fight with my fists, knives, my Liner pistol. Each cycle was a new challenge. How many could I kill with just my hands, or could I beat my score using my gun? It became this dark abyss where others only existed to see how many I could blow through. It didn’t matter when I was maimed, shot or imprisoned, I was reset every morning.
With women it was another challenge and at this point I no longer cared about ‘knowing them’ as it was pointless. It was easy at gunpoint but didn’t stimulate me the same way of manipulating their minds with perfect words and actions. My respect for them tanked down to zero. I could get any girl to be with me, it didn’t matter how loyal or pure she was. Enough predictive power or perfect words and they all melted. Eventually that game grew boring as well.
By the way, Proud? It was easy. I only had to ask. She was more than happy for the overwhelming feelings of the physical realm, and indeed it was quite amazing from my end; but that was the largest regret I had. Amidst my absolute depravity she represented perhaps the one untainted thing in this fractured world I inhabited, and I proceeded to destroy that as well.
My curiosities turned to sorrow and anguish. The hedonism left me cold and empty, the shallowness overwhelming that I had given in to. Soon it became a burden, thinking of all the crimes I had committed, even if they were not longer ‘actually done’. The pointlessness of everything amplified by a thousand experiences I had now come to hate. Especially what I did with Proud…or maybe it’d be better to say ‘what I did to Proud’.
We had come to love each other through the circumstance we were now in, a deep friendship from the stories we shared. Our friendship was not one of two different races of a physical being and a near-energy being creating a physical body, but of two consciousnesses that liked each other from so much time together.
Then I had sex with her simply to satisfy a burning question of if she would. And she did, and she loved it. As soon as it was over, I started crying. I was so stupid, so shallow. Defiling the last totem of sanity in this world left me broken and under no more delusions of how messed up I had become.
What the fuck was wrong with me? The universe was counting on my freewill to prevent this time fracture, and I was doing this to its incarnation? I was murdering people, manipulating every woman I could into sex, and fucking LineGod Proud instead of doing anything productive. I felt endlessly evil for taking advantage of her which I did many times ‘just to make sure’. That sent me on an even darker spiral for many, many time fractures.
I swung my arm around, trying to grab something else. I grabbed something soft, pulling it towards me; it was my white shirt. On the floor, holding the white shirt and the desk brought forth more grim memories of the even further pits I fell into.
‘But she was the sensual one, she wanted it!’ I would lie to myself, trying to justify the single action I hated myself the most for. My personal best for kills was over a thousand using just a pistol, most women was over ten, and that was due to my own physical limitation, but none of those compared to the final break in sanity by using Proud.
Her name was ‘Proud’ and that was nowhere near what I felt about my actions, only all-consuming regret and self-hatred. The shame was overwhelming, and then it was eventually mixed with hopelessness of my position. I had forsaken seeing Proud again because I felt so bad for what I did for so many times before I finally snapped.