Author Archives: VayneLine

Proud Infinity pt 21

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Never seeing her proved okay for a while, but then the regret grew, and with no counter to my dark thoughts, they surged endlessly.  My thoughts turned back towards something I had fallen into early in the loops: could I kill myself out of this nightmare?  I tried…oh god, I tried.  But no.  I would die, and then the universe would later in the cycle, the time fracture traveling backwards past the point of my own death to the morning as it always did.  Each cycle, wake up, grab the pistol, pull the trigger.  Instantly wake back up in the same room, but dealing with the emotional fallout of ‘surviving’ a suicide.

I felt my body shaking from the fear of itself from the horror I had inflicted on it in the name of escaping.  Or trying to anyway.  I could not get out.

“I’m so so sorry…” I whimpered to myself, hugging myself to try to believe it.  My eyes were watering.  This was so painful, so confusing.

I was shaking hard at the overwhelming memories.  ‘The positive, just focus on it.  Just focus…’ But all I could do was grit my teeth at yet more regret.  How the hatred I felt at myself for taking advantage of Proud that turned to suicide, then to unrequited rage at the girl who was the singular cause of the nightmare I was in.

I was on this endless rollercoaster of extreme emotions throughout the loops.  Even after all the regret towards Proud, it then turned to anger.  Blaming her for somehow involving me in all this.  I didn’t want any of this, I didn’t want this nightmare.

My teeth hurt from how hard I was biting down, trying to not remember the time I tried killing her.  Despite the slow learner I seemed to be with everything else, I only did this once.

I leveled the Liner pistol right at her.  ‘Die bitch’ I had said to her confused face.  I pulled the trigger, unloading half the clip into her, but…but it went right through her.  I fell to my knees.  ‘You really are just a figment of my imagination,’ crying at how crazy I was.

‘Would it make you feel better to actually let you shoot me?  Try it Trego, if you really want, as dark as this path has become.’  To which my teary face pulled the trigger again at her, and was shocked when he body recoiled away, blood, or something similar, exploding out the backside.  ‘Proud?’  I asked to her dead body, the bloody ribbon covering a massive crater in her head.  The shock was so severe I turned the pistol on myself, and the darkness only crept on.

“No!”  I shouted, trying to forget.  Just remember the good, the times I actually was productive, not lost in despair or hatred.  “It was not always bad!  That was when I started changing!”  I yelled to the world, trying to make it real.

Yes, focus on how during my self-killing spree, Proud came to me one trigger pull away and asked if there was anything she could do.  I had not seen her since the crime of killing her, or perhaps crimes, I committed against her, and her innocent appearance before me nearly caused me to follow through yet again with the trigger.  But I stopped long enough for her to tell me it pained her to see me this way, and ask why I was like this.  She was here to help if I would only ask.

I told her reluctantly a big part of it was how bad I felt for taking advantage of her when so much was at stake, both having sex with her, and later shooting her in another iteration.  When she laughed loudly, I lowered the pistol out of confusion.  ‘How did you take advantage of me, if we both wanted it?’ she asked.  She did not even mention the time when I had shot her because to her it was nothing.  She said she was entirely joyful for the experience, and did not regret anything and wondered why I did.  She said that the physical plane was overwhelming in its feelings, and to have experienced something like that with me, well, she’d remember forever.  She said she loved me and hoped I would have asked earlier, or again.  She lowered my pistol and we held hands, me crying for hours in her simple embrace until the end came again.

Proud Infinity pt 20

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The killing sprees honed my abilities.  I learned to fight with my fists, knives, my Liner pistol.  Each cycle was a new challenge.  How many could I kill with just my hands, or could I beat my score using my gun?  It became this dark abyss where others only existed to see how many I could blow through.  It didn’t matter when I was maimed, shot or imprisoned, I was reset every morning.

With women it was another challenge and at this point I no longer cared about ‘knowing them’ as it was pointless.  It was easy at gunpoint but didn’t stimulate me the same way of manipulating their minds with perfect words and actions.  My respect for them tanked down to zero.  I could get any girl to be with me, it didn’t matter how loyal or pure she was.  Enough predictive power or perfect words and they all melted.  Eventually that game grew boring as well.

By the way, Proud?  It was easy.  I only had to ask.  She was more than happy for the overwhelming feelings of the physical realm, and indeed it was quite amazing from my end; but that was the largest regret I had.  Amidst my absolute depravity she represented perhaps the one untainted thing in this fractured world I inhabited, and I proceeded to destroy that as well.

My curiosities turned to sorrow and anguish.  The hedonism left me cold and empty, the shallowness overwhelming that I had given in to.  Soon it became a burden, thinking of all the crimes I had committed, even if they were not longer ‘actually done’.  The pointlessness of everything amplified by a thousand experiences I had now come to hate.  Especially what I did with Proud…or maybe it’d be better to say ‘what I did to Proud’.

We had come to love each other through the circumstance we were now in, a deep friendship from the stories we shared.  Our friendship was not one of two different races of a physical being and a near-energy being creating a physical body, but of two consciousnesses that liked each other from so much time together.

Then I had sex with her simply to satisfy a burning question of if she would.  And she did, and she loved it.  As soon as it was over, I started crying.  I was so stupid, so shallow.  Defiling the last totem of sanity in this world left me broken and under no more delusions of how messed up I had become.

What the fuck was wrong with me?  The universe was counting on my freewill to prevent this time fracture, and I was doing this to its incarnation?  I was murdering people, manipulating every woman I could into sex, and fucking LineGod Proud instead of doing anything productive.  I felt endlessly evil for taking advantage of her which I did many times ‘just to make sure’.  That sent me on an even darker spiral for many, many time fractures.

I swung my arm around, trying to grab something else.  I grabbed something soft, pulling it towards me; it was my white shirt.  On the floor, holding the white shirt and the desk brought forth more grim memories of the even further pits I fell into.

‘But she was the sensual one, she wanted it!’  I would lie to myself, trying to justify the single action I hated myself the most for.  My personal best for kills was over a thousand using just a pistol, most women was over ten, and that was due to my own physical limitation, but none of those compared to the final break in sanity by using Proud.

Her name was ‘Proud’ and that was nowhere near what I felt about my actions, only all-consuming regret and self-hatred.  The shame was overwhelming, and then it was eventually mixed with hopelessness of my position.  I had forsaken seeing Proud again because I felt so bad for what I did for so many times before I finally snapped.

Proud Infinity pt 19

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But in a way, I was in a game that had a set boundary specifically tied to the time limit.  This made it hard, as I could not do ‘anything’ as there simply was not enough time in this singular day.  Was it even possible to pull off whatever Proud thought needed to be done?  So my options were not limitless, as there was a practical distance I could travel before my ‘time was up’ so to say.

‘Time was up…’

With those thoughts, a huge wave of experiences came flooding over me.  My eyes started watering and I fell backwards.  My eyes zoomed outwards as I fell out of my body.  The simple act of me sitting in my room faded away to nothingness as so much blanketed my mind.

This was not the fourth; this was not even the tenth, even a hundred would be low!  I had been though thousands.  All the experiences came flooding back.  All the cycles lived, and then died.

“Shit…”  I said, holding my head as I rolled down to the floor, my mind hurting so bad with this new awakening.

First were endless denials out of me, the ‘no way this is happening’ of thinking each cycle literally was new, and I had just been dreaming.  Hell, even the last couple of times I thought it was just a dream and I had already been looping thousands of times.

I could see why Proud made a comment about annoyance or something along those lines.  It was frustrating seeing myself constantly deny what was actually happening.  I was trying to ignore the important events like the guy at the fence, the android girl at the spaceport, and the whole bar scene or talking with Proud.  Even though little things like my banter with the android girl, or me gunning that guy down rather skillfully were a bit beyond my normal ability.  With grim realization it was probably hundreds of repetitions that had improved me.

My hand found something, maybe the leg of a desk, and I held on tightly like a sick child.  Even my most recent memories I was not sure had actually recently occurred.  I talked about winning against that guy, but if I had looped so often, I never would have got shot, or avoided it all together.  Thinking about it this way, I felt that there actually was a far deeper well of combat prowess inside me than I currently appreciated.  Honed over thousands of random battles.

The more my head swam, the more I realized how far down the line I was in regards to loops.  The denials lasted forever, but gave way to sadness before darkness.

When I started realizing I was looping, it was perfect to learn about people.  There were women I could get close with and my loneliness faded away for the cycle.  I had met a lot of girls and felt so close to many of them.  But each reset I was greeted with words that cut into my heart deeper and deeper each time hearing them: ‘who are you?’

Nothing that I had done with them remained.  No clever date, no laughs we shared, no talks about our past.  I would remember vague things about them, but no one else perceived the loop, I was just as unknown the hundredth time talking to them, as the first.  The closeness I thought I had with them was an illusion.  It was only in my mind.  That sent me down a dark road as I no longer had this to comfort me given the end I experience without fail.

The terror of dying every cycle started grinding on me until the desperation reached a breaking point.  I started trying to kill myself out of this nightmare, thinking that this simply wasn’t real.  If it was, I would rather be dead than be trapped in this fearful world where nothing I did mattered.  And it ended in absolute pain every single time.

Sitting here huddled on the floor, crying while this multitude of memories flooding back was not fun.  I wondered if every time was like this.  Probably.

The desperate loops were short lived, and then it became rampant hedonism and dark experiences.  When I realized I would indeed be reborn each cycle anew my curiosity took a dark turn.  How many people could I kill before I was stopped?  How many girls could I get within a single cycle knowing the perfect things to say to them from thousands of scripted conversations I had tried?

Proud Infinity pt 18

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Thanks for liking and commenting!

 

“Uhh…” I woke up, looking at the beam of light on my colored pillow.  I woke up from something that had just killed me, of that I was fairly sure.  The longer I sat there thinking the clearer and more coalescing my thoughts became.  I had recalled variations of the unfolding day, at first thinking it was just dreams within dreams but they were too vivid, too painful.  On some level something really messed up was happening here.

I felt this aura or field around me, as if it was a physical medium.  It was dark and thick, like the feeling at graveyards but a thousand times stronger.  The more I lay there the more I could slowly start feeling experiences of sorts wash over me.  It was strong ones at first: fear, anger, lust.  But it had an instructive element to it, that I was relearning or recalling old knowledge or skills I had.  Like grabbing a bicycle after not riding it, I ‘remembered’ on a vague level of stuff rushing back to me.

What was this, the third?  The fourth?  My head swam, and I had a grim feeling somewhere in my mind it was much higher than that.

Maybe I had finally remembered simply by raw repetition of being unraveled.  It appeared to be true what that girl named ‘Proud’ had claimed: I was stuck in a time fracture.  Something at ReCorp had created a particle that was so destructive to our reality that either it or the universe somehow reverberated that destruction back into time to before it occurs to ensure it never actually occurs.

And according to Proud, I was the one who had to stop this.  My stomach dropped; the universe was probably screwed.

At this point I was seriously trying to decide how many times had I ‘lived’ this day.  I remembered the couple recent ones.  But it seemed like the further back ‘times’ I remember, the vaguer they were.  It was entirely possibly I had been through this a thousand, or a million times.

I got up and splashed some water on my face, helping remind me ‘this’ was real.  I sat down against the wall, trying to think critically.

Last time I actually seemed to gleam a lot of information.  I recalled the last loop in pretty good detail, but looking back on it, I knew things I should not have.  There were a lot of things I remember personally saying I was not sure I might normally understand.   I was accepting of a lot of Proud’s crazy ideas, and jumping to conclusions that did not necessarily follow.  What this meant to me is that somehow I knew things I normally should not have.  Maybe indeed I was many iterations into this fracture, and that knowledge was slowly accruing within my consciousness packets or whatever she said I had.

So, the question then was, when do I remember?  Right now I was piecing a little together, but not to the extent I was talking to her last time.  Wait….‘last time’ certainly isn’t the right word, but what else to call it?

I saw my white shirt on the desk and remembered her changing it to pink.  Today was definitely a new cycle, but her show definitely had something important to it, I just could not grasp it yet.  What did it mean that she could change a shirt, but I could not?  There was something profound I was missing.

Sitting there holding the white shirt I was thinking of the people I ran into this day, and how any of them could possibly help me.  One thing that was clear is that I seemed to only remember the most recent resets clearly.  There was no telling how many I actually endured, I might be really early, or really far in.  I’d have to keep that thought in mind.

There were a few major characters excluding Proud that stuck out and maybe had some clues for me.  There was the bartender, either of the two guys I fought, that old man at the pit, and the android girl.  They likely had some key to this.

Proud Infinity pt 17

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The story has Trego talking to proud and at this point he is realizing he is stuck in a time loop , and she is the only one who realizes it.  Make sure to check out the past posts if you missed a section!  If you want the entire book it is available on Amazon for 3$ https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01MTB19WD?pldnSite=1

pt 17:

“So the base plane, this plane,” I slapped the ground hard to feel the pain, “is not only destroyed, but somehow affects everything else and consequently is prevented from coming to conclusion?”

“That is essentially it.”

“And for all intents, you cannot change anything, because this is not your actual realm.  You have to have a physical being do it because we are not bound by the ripple effects of our actions.  Any choice we make in this realm is the same regardless of what consequences might arise.  This seems to imply you are someone bound by the pathing of events: bound by what happens in the future, rather than just the now.”

She grabbed my hand and squeezed it tightly.  “Exactly.”  Her hand went to my leg and she started gripping it sensually; I stood up away from her.

“Are bodies really that interesting?!  Damn.”  She was pissing me off switching between her preaching, her innocence, and now trying to feel me up.

She nodded innocently. “You have no idea how amazing this feels.”

“Anyway, what if I don’t do it?” I asked.

“You will, eventually.  You have to.  A million to one probability comes out sooner or later.”

“I hate when people tell me what to do.”

“I am sorry; I don’t mean it like that.”  Her facial features dropped a bit, the outside part of her eyebrows angled downwards.  “I thought we were getting somewhere…This rebellious part of your persona is the one major negative that nearly ruled you out.”  She kind of shrugged to herself.  “It is what it is I suppose, I will try to be better.”

I really felt my anger rising at all of this but tried to stay calm because I hated making her sad.  “Can’t you just mind control me, or teleport my body into the reactor?”

“I cannot.  Why can you not realize that?”  Her eyes looked moist.

“What if I don’t?  What if I can’t?”

“Trego…” Her down turned face hid her soft voice coming from it

“You are asking me to deny everything I’ve known in my life to trust some crazy girl who shows me some tricks and makes me seriously consider she might be some god.  That thought alone makes me think I am the crazy one.”

She lifted her face up and her blue eyes were watering hard.  I was surprised how hard she was crying but how focused she still looked.  “These types of resets are always the hardest to endure.  So painful…it physically hurts when you don’t trust me.” She squinted her eyes closed; a burst of tears fell out as she shook her head a bit to regain her composure.  “We can be so close, yet so often you choose distance and anger.”

“Look, I’m sorry.”  Seeing my anger do this to the sad beautiful girl made my anger drain away.  “But you don’t seem too worried about all of this succeeding.”

“It already has,” she stated evenly as she wiped her eyes with the black cloth of her bodysuit.  She then bent down to rub her fingers on some different colored rocks that had caught her attention.  “It already has because it already will.”

“What?” I asked.  I had no idea what she meant.

“Not in a way you would understand due to your thoughts occurring linearly.  But it cannot be allowed to be brought to completion, therefore in the final loop it does not truly occur.  Because We will not let it happen, it will not occur on the true time path.”  Was I included in the ‘we’?  I was not sure.

I was legitimately confused if she was talking about victory but we had not done anything.  “To be clear, we are still stuck in this time fracture right?”

“Unfortunately yes and it will keep occurring until you stop it.  So in a way, your hand is indeed forced because the reset will occur until you decide, and figure out how to stop it.”

“Is this kind of like you know the ending, but you still have to get through the book first right?  You know the destination, but still have to make the journey.”

“Fairly accurate.”  She was colder now.  Women were really good at this kind of stuff, and unfortunately it worked.  I regretted making this playful girl act in this way.  I wanted her to go back to being friendly, even though it was me who was yelling at her.

“So what do I have to do?  How can I stop something that destroys everything?”

“It sounds much harder than it is.  It simple is a complex machine that is creating it.  Simply disable it and reality will march on.”

“Shoot someone, or drop a tool and that’s it?  And then what, reality goes forward and I end up in jail for the rest of my life?”

“I do not know.  We have never made it past today.  I cannot promise anything for you, that is the truth.  The other truth is that I will do everything in my power to help you and would not abandon you.”

The color of her bright ribbon and hair started draining.  The color of the world was disappearing.  “Damn, looks like it is starting.  I thought I might be prepared for this, but…nothing but fear.  When I died once, you said you would protect me.  Was that true?”  I asked her.

“It was.  To the best of my power I will.”

“Uh…so this actually is reality, right?” I asked her.  “I actually die here?”

“Unfortunately, it is.”

“Well I guess this is good-bye.”  This time it was my eyes watering, from a subconscious terror of my soon-death.  Now I really wanted to hold her.

“For now,” she stated.

“For now,” I agreed.  I stepped forward to hug her.  We held each other tight.  Part of my grip was based on fear, and that maybe getting as close as I could to her would somehow save me.  At the least she felt very good.  Warm.  Real.

“Save me, Prou…”

Proud Infinity pt 16

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As usual her excuse was ready.  “The magnitude of the reality effect is proportional to the energy required.  I am strong, but not that strong.  Crashing that display machine was easy; its impact was small as only two were actual witnesses to it, and its overall impact to true reality is minor.  And actually the wall was even easier.  That male did not notice it, and to you it does not matter especially given the end to this thread we are rapidly hurtling towards.  But I cannot bring about massive changes to reality that will persist down through time.  Not alone anyway.”

I played along a little, but it was only a little.  I actually started wondering if this crazy girl and her crazy story might be real.

“Okay, so I understand that I think.  By stopping this, while the actual action of stopping it might be small, you are somehow bound by something that is related to the magnitude of its impact that it ‘persists through time’.  So since this is infinitely important given that the universe gets wiped out, it cannot be done by you?”

“You are quite adept at piecing this together Tre.”

‘Damn, talk about Chrono pathways, if this is true.  We really were onto something in my old research…’  In my own mind the various theories of time and ‘threads’ of intersecting time lines began to take on a much more real manifestation.

I bent down, grabbing a rock, then pitched it over the fence as it fell down and down.   “But why could I stop this then?  I mean you are a shape-shifting girl who can blow walls down, I’m a chump with a gun.”

A deep grin took over her. “I thought you were at least an ‘advanced chump’!”

I froze.  “How did you know that?”

Her smile was good-natured.  “You still don’t believe me, do you?”

“Would you believe me that something dumb like that made me believe you way more?”

“Our harmonic rate is finally increasing!  Anyway, what you have is the power of the physical plane inhabitants.  Where your freewill does exist,” and she tilted her head down to me, “and not to say it always does, your impacts are infinite in their potential magnitude.  You are not bound by what your actions may cause down the time thread.”

“That kind of implies you lack freewill as well in some circumstances?” I asked her.

“Yes, but our definition of ‘freewill’ is far more different, let’s just leave it there.  But remember this physical plane is the base from which the others arise and affect.  I can affect this freely, in direct inverse proportion to what its impacts are.”  She teleported beyond the fence, and was hovering in the air, her hair and ribbon slowly swaying in a breeze from the updraft of the massive pit.  She lifted her hands wide to her sides, and had a playful grin on, like a kid at a playground.

“Whoa…”  My mouth was open, watching her silently floating in the air.  Okay, she definitely looked more ‘godlike’ in this simple example.  I had little doubt remaining something serious was occurring here.

“However, as a physical, your actions are inherently very limited in your options.  For example, you cannot do this.  However, the scope of your impact can be, and indeed is, limitless.  So in a way, you are the weakest, but also the strongest.”

“Ha, so it’s like we are in the steerage of a ship.  Everyone above us can dump their trash on us and do what they want, but if we sink the boat, everyone else is going down too.  Evidently, the ship sinking attracted at least someone’s attention.”  I sat down and crossed my legs, and she teleported over and sat next to me as we looked over to the building.  She put her hand on my leg.  The touch was a bit surprising, but it felt comforting.  I liked her.

It was a bit scary that the sunset had now begun.  Soon that sphere of nothingness would be created, and everything would end.

Proud Infinity pt 15

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“Quite so.”  Her hand went up to her hair and began twirling the long ribbon with her fingers.  The girlish behavior was oddly endearing given the heavy conversation.  “There has been a reality fracture so strong – perhaps you might understand given your background – created by a particle that might be capable of creating a new universe, but definitely destroying this one in the process.  It seems like it was a particle like this that indeed created Us,” she seemed to put emphasis on ‘Us’, “but a new one cannot be allowed to exist.  It destroys the very essences of reality, of which I told you the physical plane is a few planes, annihilating everything in a rapidly spreading wave.  This wave is initially only on the base plane, that’s yours, but intertwines all the others in its destruction.  This is so devastating that time fractures backwards to ensure it never happens.”

“Ok, I have no idea what you just said.”  I massaged my eyes a moment.  “I really need to take a walk.  Want to go outside?”

She twirled her ribbon one more time, lowering her hand to the table.  “Sure.”  We stood up, and walked out.  I left a handful of drinks I had paid for but at this point didn’t care.  As we were walking out she continued, “A particle that rips apart reality is created very soon here, and it is so damaging, time fractures backwards to prevent it from occurring.”

“And according to you, I am stuck in this fracture.  Or I mean we all are.”

“Yes, but I am here to help you.”

I didn’t say anything for a while.  I had a lot of thoughts going through my head.  My pink shirt told me there was a good chance I was still crazy.  If this was a trap, she was very committed to it, at the very least she had a pretty crazy story she kept straight.

She claimed no one could see her because if affected something.  Yet here she was in front of me.  I definitely had felt her so on some level she was corporeal.  There was someone walking the other way when I had an idea.

Without any warning I dashed at her, going to shoulder ram her into the guy.  Without even looking at me she took an effortless step back.  Her move left me way off balance and I almost hit the guy myself.

I rapidly turned to her, with perhaps a glare in my eyes.  She had a sly look on before she laughed.  “Nice try.  If you believed what I was saying, you wouldn’t have bothered trying.  I already told you, I can read your upper level thoughts, plus I can see the Chrono lines.  You had two things against you that were impossible to surmount.”

I didn’t respond, feeling a twinge of embarrassment that she outplayed me.

The fact we were able to walk outside at all was a bit reassuring as I thought Proud might be a hologram confined to that bar.  She was quite capable of walking.  There were two options left: she was a thought implant, or everyone was in on some experiment I was the victim of.  Eventually we ended up over by the fence overlooking ReCorp.

It was only after I walked here that I thought about the subconscious draw that brought me back here.  Maybe I was distracted by walking with Proud.  In fact it was almost like having a child with me with how excited and energetic she was at everything.

“The physical plane is really amazing you know that?”  Her crouched form was bent over to a small flower growing out of a crack.  She smelled it, then jumped out of her crouch and trotted over to me with her hands laced behind her back.  “We view it as perhaps the biggest irony that those inhabiting this plane tend to not fully enjoy its pleasures or its extra joy.”  She kept her hand behind her back as she leaned on the balls of her feet next to the fence and was humming something.

“It’s probably natural, it’s all we have known.  We don’t know what we are missing, or how much we have.”

“It’s not all you have known, but your point is close enough.”

“Careful.” I grabbed her shoulder and pulled her back from the thin fence separating her from the massive fall.  “I’d hate to see ‘God’ take an early exit out of here.  So evidently you can influence reality as you dropped that guy’s screen, and you are quite destructive if you want to be, so why don’t you just fly in there and rock out whatever is creating this fracture and everything will be okay?”  This seemed like a pretty logical flaw in her whole story.

Proud Infinity pt 14

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Hey guys, putting together a entire paperback, an omnibus of sorts regarding all the stories of which Proud Infinity is part of.  We last left Trego talking to Proud about the perception of reality.

 

“So you can play tricks on some chumps?” I asked her.

“Oh, it’s much easier to influence his world, but it really has no point.  I could destroy this whole building,” I felt some fear in my stomach over her talking so easily about power I could not ever hope to match, “but talking to you is much harder.  Influencing your world is much more difficult, but still doable.”  She nodded towards my chest, and I looked down and my white shirt was now a bright pink.  “You have no idea how hard that was compared to…” she lifted her finger and waved it, as the back wall of the building fell apart into rubble.

“What the hell?  You are telling me no one notices that!?” I cried in surprise.

She snapped her finger and the wall was back together.  “Someone might eventually.  The real take away is how variable what you think your continuous existence actually is.”

“Interesting.  But how is this ‘my world’?  I saw that screen you broke, so I saw ‘his world’ or whatever, and he could see this shirt for sure, so it’s hardly isolated.  You are telling me everyone has their own reality, and that there isn’t a true one?  I don’t buy that at all.  What’s real, is real.  The screen is broke, the wall was destroyed, or at least looked like it for a moment, and my shirt is now pink”

Her ribbon followed the ‘no’ of her head.  “You are wrong about it being isolated.  True, there is the ‘real’ reality, but most beings only vaguely perceive it at any time.  You have a higher awareness so it pierces into other’s realities, and you actually see a majority of the truth of this plane.  But to him?  Do you think he knew at all what color shirt you had on?  I could change it five more times of him talking to you and he would never remember.”

“So because I pay attention to a guy’s shirt color, that somehow makes a difference?”

Her face matched her confident question, “Well, that is what the truth was, or is, right?”

“Yeah, and the truth is that wall was annihilated, lots of people could have noticed that.”

She shook her head again; I idly wondered if I could make her neck sore with how much she was doing that.  “He did not notice, and you are going to forget this wall soon compared to everything else that is going to happen.  This had zero effect on the current thread.  No one else’s consciousness saw it, and you will forget with what occurs soon.”

“I find it hard to believe that reality is a billion little worlds of consciousness or whatever.”

“I did not say that at all.  I said someone like you is more aware of other’s worlds, and aware of the true reality.  Could you in your current form know the truth everywhere?  Not a chance.  But as far as Solarians go, you are notable.”

“So what is the truth?  I can’t believe that the physical plane doesn’t exist, so don’t try to say that.”

She laughed. “Ha, no, it is indeed quite real.  It is the base from which all others stem.  But to you, there are these dimensions, and there is like two more you can perceive…” she stopped a moment, tapping her lip like she was trying to remember her briefing on me, “gravity and time I believe you call them?”

“Yeah?”

“But you as a race are unaware of the lattice in which strong emotions can become engrained in.  Some of your race are capable of feeling that, for example.  Or of hyper dimensional beings that feed on un-concentrated consciousness.  Or even of Solarians that have higher dimensional realities within themselves that in this form they are unaware of.”

“Or it appears we are unaware of whatever it is you are,” I said, pointing to her.

Her smile indicted I was right. “It is true.  Makes you wonder how often we come to you if this is all you see of us, doesn’t it?”

“So what are you, a hyper dimensional being or whatever you said?  Feeding on my consciousness?”  I lifted my hand, smirking at her. “So does it taste good or what?  This temple is pure, baby,” I said boisterously while gripping my fist.

“No, I am an incarnation of something your race is just now starting to become aware of.  If I had to state it simply, perhaps I am an incarnation of the essence of the universe.”  She stopped.  “I suppose you could call me a LineGod.”

“A linegod?”  I asked, my eyebrow raising.  I believed about half of what she was saying, and that was only because I had these powerful dreams.

She nodded assent.  “Mm-hmm!  From our perspective, ‘god’ is fitting given your understanding.  Not some sort of creator sense exactly, but awareness perhaps.  And the Line because that is what we are all part of.  I suppose you could call me a demigod of sorts, but a really cute and friendly one!”

I grabbed the drink I never actually wanted.  I took a big sip and noted it tasted cold; I concentrated on the feeling to ensure I was still awake or alive.  “If even half of this is true, this is pretty bad that you are talking to me then.”

Proud Infinity pt 13

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Hey guys hope you are enjoying the story!

 

I had no clue what she was talking about, so went onto something else.  I was going to find a flaw in this girl’s story.  “So Proud, that is your name, right?” She nodded.  “If you need my help, why can’t someone like him help you?”  I pointed to the bartender.

“Lacks higher-level consciousness.  Just a shell, that any work laid would be lost in the fracture; amplified by an inability to detect…or perhaps an unwillingness to do so.”

“Lacks consciousness?  Is he an android?”

“No, he is Solarian.  Do you perhaps not understand the word?  Maybe are our definitions different?”

“I don’t know; why don’t you try telling me?”

She stopped, closing her eyes. “Let me try to remember the most effective way I was able to convey this.”  There was silence for a while.  “To say it is complicated for your mind would be a massive understatement, but in a way perhaps it is the simplest truth.  Are you familiar with the term some members of your race know as ‘Axl’?”

“No.”  I could feel the situation would be one that whoever I was talking to might normally be frustrated that I was not grasping whatever experiment I was in, yet I felt only complete patience from the strange girl.  I had my annoyances with her, but her tolerance was winning me over.

“Okay, well…”  she paused while she thought, “your body and mind are ultimately recyclable.  Your race understands this as ‘The Line’.  This shouldn’t be a surprise for you.  When you die, all that energy will, in one way or another, will be utilized again.  However, consciousness, or maybe call it ‘high level awareness’, has a reality of its own too.  It is not part of these dimensions you normally call ‘reality’.  It ultimately influences this reality, but low levels or non-existence in awareness often reverses the circumstances; meaning this reality instead influences the weak awareness.”

“You are kind of losing me, can you explain?”

“My last sentence was the best explanation.  Essentially, at high levels of consciousness, there exists a sort of manifesting ability, whereas as low levels, reality instead changes or crushes the consciousness.”  She stopped talking, waiting to see if I understood.

“Nothing real can be taken away,” I stated, recalling some philosophical thing I had heard once which seemed appropriate here; I said it more to try to pretend I knew what she was talking about than any real understanding I had of what she was saying.

Her huge grin was worth my statement as her happiness was very infectious.  “Exactly, Tre!  If it is there, it cannot be taken away!  That is exactly why you were the one selected.  Your awareness and openness targeted you out right away.”  Seeing her so happy and exited made me feel a bit happy as well; I smiled at my ability to have made her happy.

“So, are you even real, or do we have some other dimensional thing going on here?”

“Oh I am real, but to drop into this dimension takes a vast amount of energy and concentration.  See?”  She gripped my arm hard, and it actually hurt.  I had no doubt her slightly muscular arms belied massive strength that could completely crush through my arm.  “But as consciousness affects your reality, this is why I am only visible to you.  To influence one reality is much easier than all of them.”

“But, if I am more aware of reality, wouldn’t that make it harder for you to come here?  I’d be more aware that what is going on here should not be happening in normal circumstances.  Wouldn’t that guy be easier to influence or whatever?”

“Of course, but to what avail?”

She disappeared, and I sat back in surprise, looking around.  The guy was watching a screen that suddenly shut off.  “What the?”  He sat up, slapped the screen and it fall off the counter in what seemed like excessive movement for his light touch.  He swore a bit, and went to trying to fix it.  Proud was back at her chair.

She gave me a girlish smile.

Proud Infinity pt 12

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Hey guys, been busy working on a new story that last couple of days.  Hope you are enjoying the story, remember like it, and comment.  I am a new author and if you enjoy this share it with your friends, I can use any help you can give.  Thanks!

 

Story:

A new voice broke my concentration. “Uh, are you okay?  Here are your drinks.”  The bartender had a worried look cratered into his older face.  He set them down across from me, and I noted that Proud did not physically touch anything during the placement of the drinks.  Was the bartender a wayward savior on this dark path I was falling down with this girl?

“I’m fine, get out of here please.”  I turned back to Proud. “I get what’s going on here, he ‘can’t see you’ supposedly, right?  Is he in on this, or are you some sort of implantation device in my thought or maybe a hologram?  All of them make sense, though I am going with the second simply because you seem to be tailored to my subconscious tastes.”  That part was not out of the ordinary, there were a lot of forms of…entertainment…that tapped into the subconscious to edit the experience to maximum personal pleasure.

She frowned, and the motion was so genuine I felt bad for causing it. “You have dark thoughts Tre.”  ‘Tre’?  Hmm, never had someone shorten my name.  “These are always the most painful when you decide that you would rather be suspicious of me.  Oh, and yes I can understand your highest level conscious thoughts, haha!” She blushed then started laughing randomly.  “Tre, naughty boy!  And no I can’t control you, so don’t worry.  Though it would be much easier.”

I grit my teeth together and my mouth was in a half frown.  “So, what the hell is going on?  I hope you can at least understand my doubtful thoughts.  I am not convinced you are entirely real.  At this point I am expecting anything that you tell me to do might just be a test of my morality or sanity or something.”

Proud laughed at that. “That paranoia you possess is painful, even to me it hurts.  Drop that fear!  True reality is joyous.  Do I look scared at all right now?”  Her excited personality was a bit disarming, but I had way too much on my mind to appreciate or believe it.

“No, but you don’t have me changing my appearance and appearing in your dreams.  Anyway, what’s the deal?  Can you tell me what is going on, or is that part of the test?”

She shook her head, her ribbon softly swaying with the movement.  “No test.  While unfortunately I cannot conclusively prove anything, I hope you can trust me.”  She leaned back, her blue eyes looking upwards while her breasts seemed to be pointing right at me with their temptation.  Okay, clearly this was some test to try to lure me in, with the whole ‘oh tee-hee I didn’t know I was flirting with him~!’ persona.

She did not say anything for a while.  What the hell was she trying to ‘prove’, that her intrigue was distracting!?  Of course that was obvious, but my future death was more important, no matter what she triggered in me.

Eventually she began, “I am glad I do not feel ‘annoyance’, because it would perhaps be nearly unbearable from what I understand the feeling to be.  Though, I can deeply appreciate the irony of this situation, which might help alleviate the sensation.”  She met my gaze then asked a simple question:  “How many times do you think we have had a conversation like this?”

I was sitting there and realized I had to answer her.  “Well, one.  Right?”  I hated I actually questioned if that was correct or not.

“No, not even close.  But I do not know either, only vague conscious packets that have survived the back fracture are any indication of the vast multitude.  The Emotion Field is implanted with your accruing thoughts that slowly spill backwards.  This is how the back fracture is not a complete reset every time.”